pain is a tremendous burden, but it is warrented. and i could say that it molds us, or shapes us, but the truth is that isn't painful enough. it carves us, and pieces of ourselves go missing, they need to for us to become what we've set to become. something instills this pressure on us, until a piece of us breaks off, and is no longer with us. pain is an obstacle, but not one you can just get over, you must learn to accept and live with it. you can't magnify it, or reason it - it just is.
and you might ask where does all the time go, like it's run out, but if you're saying that then there are still moments that you can grasp and seize, moments that you can make your own, and ones you can identify as part of you. and you want to keep it that way forever. you can't run and be scared of what you've lost, you have to learn to let go of the missing pieces, the pieces that have been lost that way you can be you again. it might not be exactly the you that you remember, but you have to pray that its one you can live with. and the fact that these pieces have gone have made new parts of you visible, and they can get air and be seen and tried out. and change is necessary, or else we'd all just stay the same, maybe you get worse to get better. don't ask me, i'm not sure what it's all for.
it's kind of like this, have you ever wanted to forgot something, and then you finally do, and you sort of wish you could recall it. we have to be careful of what we cast aside, sometimes it seems like the only way, but hanging on is okay too. just be sincere, or try, or at least to yourself in the mirror, repeat the truth. beat yourself with the things you need to survive, it's not outlandish it's incandescent. you'll light up the room, full of all the forgotten you's it took to survive. while embarassment may lurk in the shadows, don't let it restrain you, a mistake many have made. and their future is chock full of bashful moments where they don't themselves from an atypical stranger passing on the street. and due to this they reach out to anyone, but primarily to those who have no roots in the world.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
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