Buyer Beware: Granny Exploitation

vending machines are a wonderful tool for society. they cut out that real life merchant middle man that nobody wants to look at or deal with. plus all the selections are so evenly spaced and at a good height for viewing, making snack selection easier than at your local 7-11 where all the candy looks like the men or woman aboard a triangle trade slave ship. this is totally irrelevant but just to show you how far the vending machine industry has come you can look to my college, CUNY Baruch, where the "healthy" snacks are labeled so with a green plastic front piece around the first spiral of the coil.

wait, now it seems as if i'm tooting the horn of the vending machine. there are a few downsides that i'll touch upon extremely briefly. sometimes they eat your money and no one within 25 miles can help you or ever get your money back. the selection is very finite and can range in quality from great to terrible. also, its like a ancient form of torture when they decide they're not taking bills.

that was all just me on a tangent, hope you found my opinions interesting. i should have put a note in the first paragraph that read "jump down to paragraph 4 if you have no interest in my feelings on vending machines".

here is how the vending machine fits into everything. just days ago i was fooled by some clever trickery's. i'm a BIG fan of oatmeal raisen cookies. i just love raisens, you could cover one in molasses call it a moose track and i'd probably love it. so when i went to vending machine and saw two soft oatmeal raisen cookies packaged together in plastic with a nice wholesome granny on the front i knew i had made my selection. problem is the cookies sucked. they were bland and tasted nothing like the cookies the lady on the cover of the package would have whipped up. i was just disappointed in myself for falling into the grandma trap because had anything else been on the cover i would have played it safe and opted for the puffed cheese doodles.

Feed The Children, Save Yourself

my sister tells me about this girl at her job, let us call her misty. misty is severely obese. now as someone who isn't obese at all i'm just going out on a limb here to say one would think it was in the best interest of a fat person to try and eat less to try and prevent the health risks associated with obesity. not to mention it's just plain disgusting being incredibly fat and it suggests character flaws like laziness and a lack of self-control. but no fat people don't care, they just accept their fatness for what it is. you've seen that t-shirt "i'm in shape, round is a shape".

but back to misty. my sister works at a day care and all the children are assigned cubbies where they can keep their coats, backpacks, and most importantly for the purposes of this story, their lunches. a decent human being, except in the case of dire starvation, would probably consider stealing snacks from the lunches of children to be cruel. not misty. she gets famished, or even remotely hungry and no food is safe from her scarfing it down. the oreos promised to a 3 year old are devoured by a woman who could probably live off the fat from her ass alone for a whole month.

what is wrong with fat people? and i hate when people relate overeating to smoking cigarettes and drinking in excess and shit. its not the same at all. fat people have a poor self image and are mean because they're so miserable with themselves.

yeah i was picked on by a fat kid in junior high. so what.