With My Back Against The Wall I Reversed The Fall

"This is my letter to the world,

That never wrote to me" - Emily Dickinson

not too long ago somebody cited my passion as the driving force behind my "craziness". passion, obsession, love - what's really all the difference? i know i love beyond the scope of others, with an extra sense that sees into a fourth, even fifth dimension. i can love past all the guilt i feel for the wrongs i've chosen, all the hate i feel towards the deceptive snakes, all the anger i administer, But with all the energy i exhibit. i am capable of saint-like love. tender and sanitary is my heart, and willing and welcome are my eyes. i use you to explore the capacity of my love, it has recently diminished - leaving room for you, but barely another soul. i don't mind. i never believed in a love for me below the surface but this tree i've grown has it's roots wrapped around you (how i've flourished since i retook all my love back and distributed it to you). the taking wasn't simple or smooth but once i succeeded i knew the damage was worth the rebuilding that lies ahead - newness is grand. life is a thousand tests. and sometimes when they're bunched together the burden becomes a hole you can't climb out of, so you're alone and unoccupied. and time, as at the time it might seem to be, is not the enemy. it's a tool you must use to formulate a plan for freedom.

i spent the last couple years in a ditch, now i'm almost out as those roots strangle you.

and i feel good because i know you don't mind, it's like how i'll watch you for a couple seconds as you sleep.

me and you

are nothing
but peace.

Daydream Believer

sometimes i wonder about what could be. and then i break down. the stuff you say tends to scare me, and then i want every dream of mine to be lucid. i worry if it tends to be me.

and i don't care what they say about how when you have nothing to lose you're free to do anything, because i'm still terrified.

and i carry a poem in my pocket that i wrote for you. the paper it's written on is tattered from me touching it. plus, it's incredibly cheesy - but it helps me forget how i'm always too polite.

[LIST OF XMAS SONGS THAT CAN BE ENJOYED OUT OF SEASON]
for e.

1. George Michael - This Christmas

2. Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas

3. Fall Out Boy - Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

4. Madonna - Santa Baby

5. John Lennon - So This Is Christmas