On, Comet! On, Cupid!

i wouldn't have been the first to blink
but now i sit here and have to think
of all the moments i must have wasted
all the situations that could've taken place

and wearier things have happened to me
resulting in famish, yet stuffed to the brim
so sanctions are placed, and feelings erased
you're up in your tank and off through space

a disastrous beginning to a sorry end
free from the middle, is this pretend?

Hearsay

i was in dunkin donuts the other day and i don't know why but it felt like the holiday season. just for a instant. maybe it was the crowd, or rather the fact that i've been delirious. taking nearly everything the wrong way so it's morphed into my own right way. just another compartment that requires some cleaning.

all that aside, yesterday my friends mom was telling me about her sister's neighbor's son who used to work on wall st. that is until he developed a frothy gambling problem and lost everything he had worked so hard to attain. she told me that he currently spends the majority of his time sitting on his bed, in the dark, with no sheets. he's given up on showering. and he's constantly telling everyone he crosses path with that he's about to buy a house. that he's going to closing real soon.

after going on a bit longer she stops and stares at me. the story seems incomplete.
but having reached her conclusion she stares at me and states "something inside him just snapped". it was like she was speaking about some incurable unknown disease he had contracted.

holy shit though wait, is that what's happened to me? and wait, what was it that actually snapped? i mean he can still walk and stuff right?
but i think she was referring to something more unidentifiable.
so here i was left thinking to myself holy shit i want my insides to be strong and formidable - certainly nothing snapable. and i began to freak out a little when i realized that i had seen this young man at a family barbecue a couple weeks earlier and he looked perfectly fine, so now i'm all paranoid as i contemplate what people say about me behind my back.

An Unsuccessful Attempt At Loitering

at the request of a friend i will recount this story, not that i want to at all.

picture a shady CVS on a dim lit hawkins avenue (in lake ronkonkoma if you know it). to the right of an obscure grocery store (looks like more of a general store of sorts, something you would find upstate), which is to the right of the even more obscure CVS, is a triple s 99¢ store. i have no idea what the triple s stands for, but at this point i'd like to think its "stupid shitty stuff". this cheap convenience store actually looked rather inviting from the outside, even with its very ordinary attempts at it with neon lights and cartoon like signs. and i'm gonna be honest with you all and skip the part where i excuse the stop at such a 99¢ store because of harsh economic times and the need to be thrifty. i love cheap things and always have.

but back to the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. me and my friends entered the store like a burst of fresh energy in the vacant arena that was triple s. however within seconds we were brought down to reality when a small pudgy middle eastern man came from behind the counter and interrupted our bliss with "i'm about to close you can't be here, i don't have time for this". this would have been acceptable had it been 5 minutes to 8 or something, but it wasn't. it was just after 7:30. what time could he possibly be closing that he had to rush? why didn't he want us to take a look around? as i recount the story i'm running into a bit of a problem with the fact that this so called 99¢ store was selling cigarettes, and now i'm tossing the idea around that triple s could be a front?!?!?!?

but the man with little patience refused to sell the cigarettes to my friend after jotting down the number 49 and clearly fumbling the math which composed of confirming that my friend is over 19, when my friend is actually 22. he seemed anxious and bothered by us, insisting that he couldn't "risk it". i wondered what his problem was. did he think we were the feds showing up to stop his shady side business of gambling rings. or did he think we looked like thieves? was he pissed because he knew we had no plans of purchasing anything from his store?

we watched from the parking lot as other patrons entered the store with no problem. we plotted our revenge. and then we told the first person we saw to never go there again.