Tuesday, May 26, 2009


back in my hey day i lived in an apartment complex that featured a barn like roof which was just the perfect surface for a game called A-S-S. the game required one simple piece of equipment and that was a handball.

the rules were quite simple. throw the ball as hard as you can, or just plain hard, at the wall and do everything in your power to catch it after the bounce. however, if you for any reason touch the ball and fail to catch it you receive a letter. or if you throw it and miss the wall you recieve a letter. quite similar to the idea in H-O-R-S-E. you could play with two people - or ten (choosing to play with ten could prove to be terribly dangerous though as you'll see later on).

the first person to spell out the word ass was then required to stand face first against the brick wall with their back to the rest of the players. every other player was then allowed to throw the ball at the failed player from about 10 or 15 paces away.

what's funny is sometimes for whatever reason you might just lob it over and barely tap them. like the fear alone of being pelted in the back of the neck was enough. other times you said "to hell with 'em" and you fucking hurled that Sky Bounce as hard as you fucking could and with the precision of a sharp shooter and watching even your best friend cringe and hit the ground made you feel light as air as if you just threw a strike, or hit a bulls eye.

Friday, May 22, 2009

A Tribute To The Canine


5. Pluto: Behind every successful mouse there is a strong dog -enough said.

4. Old Yeller: At first this stray was unwanted, but this protective pooch won the love of Coates family and was eventually payed for with a homecooked meal.

3. Lassie: Loving and smart this canine saved the day more than once, and was one little boys best friend.

2. Snoopy: This dynamic dog is a deep intellectual and is a habitual roof top dweller.

1. Balto: Way back in 1925 this heroic dog rescued an entire population when he pulled a sled of medicine nearly one thousand miles.

Scooby-Doo: Along with the gang this ageless pup has been solving tricky supernatural mysteries since the 70's.
Underdog: A rhyming hero and pop culture icon, he was there whenever Sweet Polly Purebread needed him.

Honorable Mentions: Odie, Porkchop, Shiloh, Comet

Monday, May 18, 2009

Food For Thought

i'm a mindless romantic. i believe things should last forever and never sacrifice even an inch of their beauty. like when my friends parents would talk openly about how they were gonna get divorced come summer, i'd cover my ears and refuse to take them seriously. or how this past week i threw my cell phone and it subsequently broke. this is only after Emily told me she got drunk and told her ex-boyfriend that she never loved him.

lately i find this to be my biggest problem. mostly because i refuse to stop believing, and so i fight it. but the cold truth is, i'm fighting nature, and mother nature is not a romantic. come to think of it she's pretty much a heartless bitch who feeds off chance and change. flirting, she is a tease. and i don't fit into mother natures plans, or rather she doesn't fit into mine. and so i'm polished with fury, and sad more than i should be. but i'll play both sides like a carefully tuned piano, and with success. pounding the keys i never knew existed. hard energy produces sounds unconfined by walls and the likes - i'll take a bow and exit stage, but not before the audience calls for an encore. i don't oblige.

now, think about a fly stuck to a fly strip. struggling so unnecessarily.
that's you.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Flushing Out My Childhood

i wish i could still grow 3 inches in a year. and actually make it to a doctor when i'm sick. someone tells me "i haven't seen you since you were a baby", i smile and act polite - no hard feelings. when did it end?

spray myself with the hose then jump in the pool. ride in the way back of my moms station wagon and harass all other motorists. carefree and mischievous. death was for suckers, and risk was never evaluated.

this is what revisiting kool-aid will do to you =/

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Pizza Parlay

i got pizza today, and i was the only one in the place. my own solitude seems to stalk me relentlessly. but then a man walked in. after receiving his pizza he walked up to me and asked if he could sit with me. there were at least 10 other empty tables and i had my back to him the entire time so i was kind of surprised. i barely lifted my head, but mumbled back "yeah, sure". after he sat down he wasted no time and asked me "what's the matter". i told him i didn't know. he said that was a lie because everyone knows, then i started to cry. consumed by my own grief, i would soon find myself enveloped in his.

he looked guilty and worried but stared into my eyes and told me he was sorry and that he didn't mean to upset me. i told him it wasn't his fault. he did a half-grunt type of laugh and told me that his wife said that when she left him several years ago, he seemed to have lost track of them all. he told me that he hadn't seen his daughter since she was 11 years old, and that he didn't know why but i reminded him of her, or at least what he remembered. i wondered to myself why his wife had left him. he was in his late forties and he seemed to be sharing a lot with a total stranger. i thought he shouldn't mind me since i'm such a wreck, but at the risk of sounding anti-social i held back. as i was finishing up he asked if he could give me his number, i told him that would be fine but that i'd never call. he said that's okay by him. and i had only taken one or two steps away from him and towards the door when it occurred to me what i was doing. so i turned around and asked him "this won't add to your misery will it?". then he answered me looking out the window at the passing strangers, their lives so intangible just feet away, with "what misery?", finally his eyes were back locked in with mine when he winked. i walked out.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Last Day At The Opera

what if there was something that reaches past the ordinary mediocre grand scheme of love.
it's a vapor that hinders causing any clarity i had to disappear.
the reaching seems special with results that break the life between two people.
i've yet to prove it despite the evidence mounting on your every word.
all i hear is lies.
it's backlash from the way we took to get here.

and now i want to let it all go,
cause nothing goes back. the origin is over,
the only scar i have from you's the love within my heart -
a constant reminder of my diminished sense of smart
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