Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I'm Not Going Anywhere Fast

hey baby
i think it's kinda funny
that my nose is running
cause i'm not going anywhere fast

i really dont get it
why you went ahead and said it
that we're not going anywhere fast

but maybe baby
if you give me a couple days
i'll show you we'll go plenty of places quickly
but i don't wanna miss you
so i'm not going anywhere fast

someone once told me
i'm not the type of person
that people rely  on or confide in
and i'm not going anywhere fast

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Rehash Back To The Blast

i'm calling you and i keep believing i'll hear you phone ringing outside my window - like you already knew.  and i know, i keep my better side shut off when i hear the truth, but i know.  everything will crumble and i'll sit by and let it.  i've done it for a lifetime.  i'm not even sure i regret it.  i just look for people who love me, and i give away my flesh and my twisted love for the consolidated stuff before death.  but when the bonds i form begin to swarm i can't see in any direction, and this isn't exactly as you mentioned.  the explosions are slower and when you think they're stopping they're far from over.  and there's way more people wearing plasic than you prepared me for.  but it's okay, i move my lips but don't say anything so they think they're going crazy.  one walked right up to me and told me he's shoveled shit long enough that he's getting out of this business quickly.  if he could read lips he would have known i could tell from his expression he was deeply unhappy, and hasn't known progression.  i was gonna blow my cover, tell him i knew, that its been a long time since i knew myself straight from birth.  i wasn't blowing smoke up his crap either, i was stifled and looking for jesus - to show me how to identify the sordid souls from the glowing angels.  how to deny distractions and maintain self-reliancy.  i had been misplaced and i settled toward depression for my direction.  a road map filled with swallows, and company that had been hallowed.  and where i am now needs some work, but i'm willing.  the destruction is nothing i never seen before, but always before i went running.  i never stuck around to refurbish the lives i've littered with my self-destructive iniatives - i just level all they've built, watch the fall of it, take the next bus out of town, keep a steady head and never turn around.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Messes Make Themselves

or so i learned
solo or so low, what's the difference - you
now that i met you and defined the love
i'm totally, broken, i want to wash away the filth
drown my love in a river, and watch it float away
i hope the body gets recovered, and there's somewhere it can stay
i see you eye it as thrills, it makes my heart pummel
makes me wonder when you'll break it - i'm a fiend
in all the satisfaction and ache it means
i'd love to put a stake through it, keep it in a cage
secure it with locks - so it wouldn't get away
and i only want to please you
i've never felt this way, it's an eruption of my soul
i want you to have me all, not a fraction, not an inch
but what's fair and right doesn't exist  in this epic fight
i think i'll throw a knockout punch, but i can't make a fist
surrendered with your company, it's my love affair with bliss
the science of the situation seems to go as this,
love is as love needs, the drugs we breathe
the microscope i put others under stands deserted under the covers
and my constant fever makes me crazy
all brought on by you baby

Monday, August 8, 2011

Leave The Doubt At The Door

we lay in bed like we do best, hopeless or hapless, we describe our lives like the movies.  mostly because we have no feelings.  except for each other.

and you look at me and tell me you Love holding me. i'm thinking to myself you know what i Love more,

waking up in the darkest part of night, she's a tempest when you fight to see without light, and i realize i haven't moved an inch and neither have you.  i love how my body is weaning on to yours, and we're in a pool of our own sweat, stuck together with it, and i suddenly figure out that i haven't been angry once since we started this, our life, and how we keep up, the fights that both of us lose cause our time together shouldn't be misused, the smiles and the drives.  the pasts we both stopped probing years ago, we choose to neglect the discomfort it (the past) led to.  and i think we both believed that it warranted an axe that cut our dreams and beliefs into tiny pieces.  we didn't recognize it, but we wouldn't take the blame either.  and maybe we're nontraditional when it comes to progress, but we haven't needed it since childhood.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Ashes & Dust, In God We Trust

when feelings finally disintergrate
they litter the ground, but help the taste
and now i feel your anger, it's visible from angle
and i don't talk about you, at least not devastating lies
just the type that inch you closer to your demise
just the type that you told me, the ones i saw coming, but couldn't see
and i wonder when you'll forgive me, because i forgot all about you
but i didn't forget your hope chest stuffed with porcelain lies
if you ever realize who you are, check the notes i left on your bed-
it's just what i said
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