A Day In The Life

Some Nothing Because Currently That's All I Have To Write About:

::just signed up for the FDNY test being given in January of 2011. the recruiter told me a year goes by quick. and if there's something i've learned in my 7th semester at college it's that if you can't beat them join them - civil service is the way to go, pension and everything.

::my professor ended class 10 minutes early and the girl next me to said, almost to herself ,"thank you". funny the things some people are thankful for. i guess she didn't mean it in too heavy a way though.

::I spoke with Gap's customer service consultant, Shelly, a real nice lady btw and she has agreed to help me locate my discontinued beanie. My friend Erin says (and i do realize that this seems to be a reoccurring theme here, my good ol' pal Erin disgracing my dear beanie) that my beanie is a crutch. Well i'll be damned. It seemed to me the worst insult. I mean, what was my beanie to make of all this. After a while though i reconsidered and realized my beanie is in no way crutch. But instead my being in college is?

Because: i basically do what i want and take into account no harm because i am a so called College student. but i am in fact a pathetic soul seeking fuck who can't decide what I want, need, care for, respect, love, admire, desire, despise, idolize, etc.

And The Beat Goes On.

Just Say "Maybe This One Time"

about a week ago i was exhausted lying in my bed, probably about 10 minutes and i would have been out cold. mo was laying next to me waiting for her boyfriend to get out of work and retrieve her ass. then my phone rings and it's my ex-boyfriend robert. as i'm staring at the incoming call screen i wildly decide that instead of ignoring him like i usually opt to do i'll just pick it up and hold my ground that i am in no way hanging out. i pick up his call and we of course go through the usual whats up blah blah blah, basically the precursor to an invite over his house. in my head i'm preparing my speech on how tired i am - so tired that i would in fact crash the car if i tried to drive - then he cuts to the chase with "wanna come over i have a whole lot of salvia"

i was awake.

now i'm not anywhere near a strong advocate of drug use but at this moment i was almost as excited as those twilight fans when a new trailer comes out. my eyes lit up and i told him i'd be right over, not sparing a second.

now i had smoked salvia like a year earlier with a friend and her boyfriend and it didn't affect me too bad. of course i did think the room would behave like a gerbil wheel if i decided to run up the wall. but case in point my head was on straight i knew what was going on. things would change.

salvia comes in all different potencies but still when mo was explaining that i was gonna be a wreck i brushed it off and thought she must be a wuss. turns out i was wrong.

when i got to his house i was super antsy to take my hit. rob packed the bowl, handed me the lighter and sent me on my way. i lit the bowl took a long deep hit, held it in for as long as i could, and then exhaled. within seconds i slipped into the fourth dimension. and this probably sounds totally asinine but i'm thinking way outside the box after that. eg: yesterday i'm thinking to myself like why dont they just do social experiments, lets live on the edge and kick morals to the curb, but then i'm like wait we could be the social experiment "planet earth".

woah baby.

and it's not even like i'd want to smoke the salvia again, it's a real far-out trip. i now refer to it as a space drug hah. but i mean it changed my inner mind workings in a good way.

It's Beyoncé Bitch/Hips Don't Lie

when the great lord took Johnny Cochran i thought i'd seen the last of my heroes to die for a while. at least i didn't have to live to see RFK die, and ike, and i was too young to appreciate the mick, but i bet it would have killed me.

now that mj is gone i realized all the greats are dead - sorry Mr. McCartney but getting robbed by that bitch certainly brought your persona down one giant notch.

look, it's hard for me to admit this to an unforgiving America but i did love Anna Nicole Smith - so shoot me. at least i'm beginning to realize LaLohan isn't really the best role model - especially if you take into account her alcoholism paired with her bad body image =/, and it would be difficult to overlook. i mean if you're talking about criteria for Idol material.

okay but the deal is i need a living breathing idol. one that - even if it's temporary until someone better comes along. and i know i need to grow up eventually but hey, not now. and all i can think is BEYONCE! okay and still Gary Sheffield. and no offense to Gary but i think i'd just really consider him someone i'd like to be my friend, not really a hero so much.

but BEYONCE, i mean c'mon. she can Dance.

i've come to a realization that no matter how much you feel a pull towards comparison you must shy away.

Murran

not too long ago i was at a doctors office that a handful of doctors worked at. when i was reading the list of practicing doctors i noticed one doctor by the name of Maxworthy and i promptly thought that if my last name was Maxworthy i would have been blessed with more of a drive, maybe some ambition too. i'd end up some corporate executive with a 401k and a ton of frequent flier miles. or maybe an award winning novelist with a summer house in saint tropez but instead my last name is Moran. and way before i began researching exactly what the name meant i figured it probably stood for sloppy drunk in some foreign to me irish tongue.

however, after seconds of research i learned it actually means "large" or "great" in gaelic which doesn't seem fitting at all really. especially if you saw how short they all are on that side of the family. so then i read that it is a form of morgan which means belonging to the sea. honestly i liked the way this sounded much better. and then i found the coat of arms and the motto "lucent in tenebris" translated into "they shine in darkness", and then i just laughed.

i guess i'm further removed from my original irish ancestors than i had previously thought.

get this though, i tried to look up Maxworthy and the history behind the name and i got nothing. NOTHING. a witness protection name of some sorts maybe.