i sit and wait for you on the roof top, that way i'll know earlier when you arrive. i can see so far out, past towns. past all the roads that interlock. but those roads they spill and nothing is there to catch them, but they bring you to me. i consider them my friends. and when you finally make it i turn on the stove. and i'm cooking you shrimp, but when i look down they're sardines, and i'm wondering who is gonna eat that - i wouldn't even let you get a look at them.
the good lord made a mistake making me ever let my eyes set on you.
i consider how badly i'm screwed, then i look at you, and my body becomes graced with a presence you must know so well. the riddle that makes my anxiety is shallow, and i bear it. i knowingly engage in this relationship blindly.
you won't stay into night, you say "the afternoon is long enough." i know no length. i can't even measure. in my head every single thing is forever. i discard nothing, it all remains, and however untouched it always stays fresh.
and when sometimes i do something that resembles a smile, i know it only has to do with you. and that the pain i've survived somehow lended itself to helping me learn to smile. to smile and mean it. to smile and want it more, to wish i could all the time. feel that way. and i'm not wise enough to know if it's love, or just a sample. a rendering of something much more potent, and too the point.
requited love that cuts the head off and watches the body run a muck.
i'm unsure why i make this all up.
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