Happy Times

i'm confused,
when i left you were here
but when i got back from work
-you're gone, all you left was a note
that said
to, me
your
dead

and i was trying to figure out what the fuck that meant
then i remember i don't curse, and i gave up
deciphering your bottom line indifferent speech
a couple months ago, i made a promise to myself
not to cry until after dusk, and it's been going well enough
'til i woke at noon the other day, from a nap, from a dream
where you had come to stay, with me everyday
when the sleep evacuated my eyes, i began to cry
not for feeling pitiful, or angry
but because of what i get myself entangled in
how the freedom leaves
me
alone

and i feel done
with getting up from
getting my heart torn
from my chest, and i swore
you off for death,
so 'til then

make grand memories with your fantasy family
leave me out of them all,
can you see all the smiles?

happy times
leave me out of them all
leave me out of them all