Reflect As You Want

i display a spectrum of emotion in a minute and sometimes i let you listen, i know i look distant.  i believe you wonder how we dwell together - you believe it, but i went through hell together and that habitual wreath of anger that i wear around my neck, i've warned you of it, now you peek at it, and it can flare up, but the swelling has gone down since you took me around, it's just not as heavy, you've pointed out all the redundancy to me and i've plucked it off.

i thought of how the diseased leaves would feed around 5 maturing souls who already chose a path.  and i know i tell you all the time, but i'd  be nothing without you.  i count 100 blades of grass in your parents garden and i hear 100 voices coming through the armory, with you at my side the impossible has shifted to possible.  i wish you could witness what you've gifted life me above the corpse of my past.  it was your love that swayed from a rehash.  the guides told me "rework what you have" while you said to toss it all out, to be terrified but pay no attention to the limitations it would spew out - you'll be new now.

so i threw it all out, the anger and expectations, the values adjacent to norm, and it was a storm.  i was sick daily, but i wasn't failing, it's sorta funny too because before i begun i expressed my distress to you, i was weak, no way i could accomplish this feat, the words expelled from me, never, can't, how can i - while you stood there steady in silence and displayed what gave me hope, and yet you handed it to me.  how stranded i thought i'd be, then when the tailspin started i didn't want to market how near i was to an emotional collapse, but i was promised and i swear on the sky i saw you lose patience, even if it was just as you maintained them, yes you stayed with me and held up a mirror and directed me not to cower but you reflect my passion, love and strength.