Friday, May 15, 2015

Grace On The Internet

i met grace on the internet. not in the traditional sense, because there is a traditional way to meet people over the internet which includes the likes of a or maybe if you're really edgy - or just need a good laugh - the craigslist personals, but no this wasn't like that. we were mutual friends with a jane doe on facebook. sometime in august of last year jane changed her phone number, and to let everyone know like a responsible adult, she listed her new number and tagged a bunch of her friends in the post. for some reasons, unknown to me, the comments sections ended up bursting into flames of humor and such. i wonder if anyone knows the science behind that anyhow, why certain posts have like thirty nine comments, and you know when you see that shit on one of your posts you're proud of yourself.  anyway i joined in on the comments with my own flat out ridiculously funny humor that floors you and leaves you suffocating in laughter.

grace liked my comment.

to be honest, i was trolling, as i often do on facebook because i take nothing serious, at the top of the list of things i can't take serious are myself, other people, and other peoples' opinions of myself.

grace liked my comment.

now i had to know who she was, so immediately after i got the notification i clicked on the link to her profile. i studied her profile over the course of about a week, slowly working up the courage to private message her and then simply take it from there. however, i was easily intimidated by the little snippits of her profile that i could view (facebook has several options for privacy, hers seemed less like maximum security prison status and more like an i-don't-care-what-potential-future-employers-see-on-here, which i liked already) and didn't know what the heck i'd say in a private message. facebook has added a new little feature where you can "ask" people certain personal information that they don't have listed but might share with you if you just, well, ask.

so i had this ah-ha moment where i thought i'd skip the whole private message thing where i'd have to articulate and formulate words in a coherent manner at the very least, but all the time praying that i could painstakingly forge a path that would allow me to ask for her number to which she would respond yes, you should have asked ages ago. i could skip all this because when i clicked the about section of her profile there it was, a link "Ask for Grace's phone number". i thought i had my out. i held my breath for a moment, the mouse resting in my sweaty hand knowing the little amount of pressure i would have to exert to click the link. i exhaled and clicked it. then came the what the fuck moment. i had to ask her why i was asking her for her fucking phone number. what. the. fuck. ( i never understood why. people. do. that. but i think it helps explore the seriousness of this offense facebook has clearly made). so frankly i was back at square one, but to some extent i was at like square eight since at least i was cutting out some bullshit, i was letting grace know that i wanted to hear her voice, she had to know i was interested in her as more than a friend, because i was asking for her number.

i dont remember exactly what i said, but it worked. she called me sweetie as we private messaged for a little bit where she ended up asking for my number. she immediately called me and we talked for over an hour until i realized i was tired and needed rest. later on in our relationship she admitted this to be something of a faux pas on my end, and it wasn't the first time my weary and fatigued mind/body would get me in trouble with a perspective partner.

anyhow i went to bed thinking grace was witty and self-deprecating and as close to perfect as i could establish in a little over an hour. a part of me sincerely felt as if i had just spoken with the girl of my dreams.

i believe in fate, and if you don't good for you, we'll just call it coincidence. the next day we ran into each other as luck would have it. mostly my luck because she was way out of my league and i'm staggering through life trying to figure out what's really good though, haha.

anyway, i fell in love, well sorta. she back stabbed me the first chance she got and she stays in my life because i can't imagine it now without her.

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