Soak In The Sun

i question myself again, are these lessons purely in my head, i'm so sore it had to end. although as my fate was molded and handed over, of course the good times we're always bad. just so awful and sad. now they're calling me mad. i've failed a couple times over, it's subtle when i'm sober. it fades away, i ease the pain, then scream in vain everyday since i've changed ways. i rearrange the pawns, who staged this children's crusade, i'm willing to face this head on if you swear i can't lose. i would care to choose - self-sabotage, a shelf life and an atom bomb. a recipe for disaster, i recite the words much faster - you want me dead, yes you're in my head, thought i put this chapter to bed. it's a hassle my friend, but i appreciate you coming out, showing support, our glowing rapport, i know the sort of person you are. taking responsibility, and making a new me. i'm breaking too soon here, the fear you dangle, how you manage to make me angry. i took the blame, you mar the shame, these scars are faint when i'm gone. the bars i set drain my mind, i function 'til the end of time as is, sordid past, and a morning fast approaching. the time to win is closing quick and i'm not sure where to find it. i'm restless and i'm unwinding about to take a mindless approach, a vacation to soak in the sun.