Tuesday, January 10, 2012


lost, but in what way? it's hard to say.  i know what i want and whether i'll admit it to myself or not i have a pretty good understanding of what i'll need to do to make it all happen.  i've accumulated so many fears, in so little years, it ties me down and makes times feel infinite. but it is as definite as all my losses.  sometimes i wonder where it all goes, up in the air, or down in the ground.  either way it's not around.  every so often i can imagine it all at arms length and i always jump down its throat and ask it where it ran off to.  it just stares me down, it's never coming back around, and i know exactly why.  being static makes people unhappy and maybe we don't ever really change we just rearrange to answer the questions and make us feel settled.  so people just steal what isn't all theirs.  bonds break and people take their half, i just stare off into space cause i really can't take another heartbreak, and it feels very real.  i didn't plan it this way, i thought that we would stay as one unit, but i guess i didn't know what i was doing.  i just wish i knew how you felt, this is all the hand you dealt, and i'll never know why.  yet, i've come up with a dozen reasons for you leaving, but all of them have me believing that you'll be back, i still think you give a crap, at least a little, it's so chilling thinking otherwise, or picturing you with other lines and what you told, they weren't lies just time capsule words where you had our future told.

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