Soak In The Sun

i question myself again, are these lessons purely in my head, i'm so sore it had to end. although as my fate was molded and handed over, of course the good times we're always bad. just so awful and sad. now they're calling me mad. i've failed a couple times over, it's subtle when i'm sober. it fades away, i ease the pain, then scream in vain everyday since i've changed ways. i rearrange the pawns, who staged this children's crusade, i'm willing to face this head on if you swear i can't lose. i would care to choose - self-sabotage, a shelf life and an atom bomb. a recipe for disaster, i recite the words much faster - you want me dead, yes you're in my head, thought i put this chapter to bed. it's a hassle my friend, but i appreciate you coming out, showing support, our glowing rapport, i know the sort of person you are. taking responsibility, and making a new me. i'm breaking too soon here, the fear you dangle, how you manage to make me angry. i took the blame, you mar the shame, these scars are faint when i'm gone. the bars i set drain my mind, i function 'til the end of time as is, sordid past, and a morning fast approaching. the time to win is closing quick and i'm not sure where to find it. i'm restless and i'm unwinding about to take a mindless approach, a vacation to soak in the sun.

Reform Born In The Bottom Of The Ninth

in a stream of inappropriate dreams, you were there. i rested my highest hopes on your laurels, and i let you pay for a change while i prayed for a change.  nothing was the same and that came between us. i became incessant in getting us back together. i could retain my strength for a couple days, then my prototype of us frayed as you lashed out. but even your anger came to an end, the distance had flushed out anything desirable that might develop. i toasted my own efforts but stepped out of the running. my constant campaigning was endlessly failing, and for this i was responsible. i knew that in my heart, my head slowly followed. i swallowed my pride and tried feverishly to get you to void the botches our being together had carried out. when we walked out as a pair only one of us could wear the mask. this was troublesome. our camouflage had made us appealing to everyone looking in, but when we got back home we couldn't find where hope had run off too. i told you i'd find it, and that's when i left for a little. i began to believe the people who told me our journeys were separate. us trying to function as one was doomed, two innocent parties that were guilty of failure. it was a lot to handle.

and then you started in with the hyperboles and everything went sour. you referred to us as toxic, and you successfully sabotaged what little we had left. i had invested my remaining sanity in that little that was left though, it wasn't hardly right. my chest was on fire as our love burned out. i cried as i realized we were finished evolving. our survival was over, the end was imminent. i tried to provoke you to stay, and that was childish, and i apologize.