I'm Still Learning But I Never Thought You'd Be Another Lesson

my heart has been bursting from years of rejection, you were an unexpected drop in the bucket. a bubble bursting, and i'm only human and so i admit i'm hurting. i'm not sure what it was that i thought made you different, maybe because you listened. everything i shared with you, i'll never get it back, its yours to keep, and i feel less for it. another episode from this hectic life, still unexpected the hurt you caused as i called you wife. of course i've misspoken, the truth is that you absorbed exactly what you wanted, but when you felt the tide pulling you out thats when you shut down and shut me out. and again i'm blindsided by this universal evil of leaning on people i only think i know. or maybe i know in a couple moments, ones where i'm convinced they're the hope i need to rely on, to cope and get by with. but the truth is, i'm the headless horseman and i let you course through my veins, i thought it would cause less pain than the slander i was selling myself. but it hurts much worse. more than i honestly thought it would or could. you've stained all the relationships i thought i had built. you rained on the parade i held for my youth. and complained when i only told you the truth.