Your Image Like Direct Sunlight

delete this message that I'm about to send you
one hand on the wheel, another in the pot, one pushing your buttons,
I love it when you shout
I'm a wolf, and i howl at the moon, i'm falling for you
and when these sky lights go off you can dream up thoughts about who you'd like to be
you're the origin of me
your hair, your marks, and i'm gasping for air in this dark
it's a shallow ditch that we drown in
there's no way around it, self sabotage never felt so glamorous
the feelings like we don't belong
but I'll be there to catch you when you fall
I think too fast, I get too hot, sweat drips red like the fire you wrote about
the ashes are so fine, they too drift up to the sky, no direction
i can barely comprehend a mix
wait, do you believe in the subconscious?
mine is rallying, ever the underdog
i think i'm a writer till i pick up the pen, 1,000 words we'll go at it again
a soul in debt to sin, I'm at it again
steal the art from your eyes, ur reflection is my only vice
your image like direct sunlight

A Diety

soul crushing. and she said “looks like you lost your best friend”. i reply that it’s been happening for a while. when I was younger I believed. And it all fell to peices. I built it all back up, but the design was so fragile. All that work for what? she says “have you had enough?”. a diety, and she believes in me, but she’s an apparition, the only one who appears to be listening.  she tells me “life begins with you”, and I remind of her what I’ve been through. She can let the dust settle on instructions and a menu, of all that I desire, ideas that coincide with facts that I’m a liar. She flatters me, my own creation, a mirror for how I’m doing lately.

Break Rank

you’re terminally ill
it seems to be contagious
I know your bad side
we practically neighbors
all the evil seems to be sedated
a massive sleeping bear, our hibernation
start to talk and my head aches
the backs of my eyelids replaced with a Microsoft sunset
I’m rapid eye fantasy, and you sway with sterile tides, always out of key, perfection that I see
marry me with silly string that I’ll wrap around your finger, you’ll have to pry me off first, "just married" stapled to the back of a hearse, pill bottles rattle as they drag along the road
celebrate a union, my undoing

these words they have no format, some rhyme and no reason, sweaty palms, i met you in time for this new season
it’s so long to these dog tags
I ended a war within myself
keep an album on shelf, rusted photos of the past, water damage, water logged, years and tears will do that
movements that impress the mind, i left the dead for you to find
I have nothing left to hide
pick me apart; you stay on the sly
we opposites, break rank for death, I’ll keep being me, you stay less and less impressed

Bombs Away

we both yell bombs away
drop an anchor, we’re here to stay
the lesser of evils, a sensual demon
a delicate doe in the winter frost
a street light blows out and we’re lost
we can’t measure the cost of a trauma
tragedy sparks interest, do what we wanna
barefoot in a dark alley, land mines in town, they know me by face, wouldn’t recognize a thought, my latest disappointment weasels it’s way into my birthday month, my problems go down like the sun and it gets dark
the future something or other, like a best friend from back in the day, we grow away, roots take hold, we outstay our welcome, time to move on
i hold you in my arms, ask why you’re saltier than the saddest sea; why you won’t come back to me, and you cordially warn me I’m misinformed about myself and suddenly winter has no end, the distance to hell depends on the price of discretionary minutes and what’s a reason for the pause when everything is moving right along
pushed the plunger on a bundle of joy, and it was all just a ploy, again pressed pause
childhood was paradise when a huge storm sunk the island to the ocean bed
and some of these wars we’re born into and some are up in our head, trouble drawing lines and marking enemies, I live in basic tendencies, is there a way out? It’s strange now, everything is wide eyed, less painful, pulled a steak out of my heart, placed it down, prone to less fighting now

An Audience

somewhere between better and worse
awake and comatose
the scars they don’t hurt, it’s visual impairment
succinct when we handle all our failures
and that’s my preoccupation, the reasons that I left the basement
and self destruction really something when u mixed up in that ego
it’s not sex, it’s a long weekend
hop in the pool, stay out of the deep end
I’ve never been right, I’ve always been sick
play the drums, let’s marry the beat
pass me a receiver, a phone call to your demons
tell them lay low and stay put, we’re all on holiday just searching for the right look
I promise it all, i deliver a thing
the mighty they fall, drag the weak by a string
tricks in my pockets and dice in my drawers, go identify our old selves up at the morgue
whisper all ur problems, I’ll sing them in a song, wrap it in a bow, throw it on a stage
We get the applause, the audience they faint