Fit This On My Headstone

I’m a misfit, I shapeshift into a favorite enemy
Need an outlet for my problems, a new outlook helps me solve them, I overthink but I’m in sync with a villain who’s semi-willing to make changes, that’s my other half, been here feels like a hundred years 
We’re on a first name basis, it’s amazing, no introduction, keeps reinforcing my negative assumptions
We have a dialogue where I surmise that
I’m going no where fast, people tell me I’m a creep, i get sick to my stomach
It gets pumped and I love it
I can be romantic, pour some honey on it, suffocate you, watch you turn a beautiful shade of blue, almost gray, maybe it’s beige?
The creek in your throat, eyes in your head, I suppress my melancholy, it tips the scale so instead, happiness is to the wayside
Pensive as I recall ur breath, I don’t miss it, I’m a fanatic from your death
Trying to trace your last steps, there’s a vastness to death, this life is so confined
I’m wailing, I’m beaten, this tragedy ain’t easy and I keep taking notes, I can’t let them forget, a bathtub filled with quotes, I’m submerged in your words
The beginning is chaos, it’s a chasm, you’re cold, a polar - opposite
But life with you is far from hollow, I stress and grind my teeth like I’m chewing gravel
I’m always so uncomfortable, I try and stay subdued, it’s a cloak, my head hurts from second guesses
They’re outside the morgue in mourning, ask them to take it inside
The mourning after a disaster, you seem rabid with your reactions to my feeble mind
I’m and outcast, like Rembrandt - my ma swears we’re also Dutch, I’m a mixed, mick, spic, fritz, a grimey kid / a sasannach, I have philosophies on matter and the particles that disappear beneath the dirt when we bury our loved ones, it’s all depressing so I take it elsewhere, keep myself there too