Friday, February 27, 2009
Dandruff: The Silent Social Killer
i can count the number of friends i have on one hand. its not too tough a situation and it makes christmas shopping a breeze. i've had my theories on why i have a limited number of friends, and mostly i blame my social anxiety disorder, which i believe in fact roots from my moms moms mom (my great-grandmother, rip). lately though i've been exploring other options, and if you take away the fact that i'm a hypocrite, a drunk, a liar, and a sarcastic jerk i'm left with one thing: dandruff.
i used to treat my dandruff with a two in one shampoo i'm sure most are familiar with, head and shoulders. but i stopped because who am i trying to impress? you see how this could end up a vicious cycle, which i think it has..do i have to feel the repercussions of my rapidly maturing scalp skin cells? a normal persons don't mature until a full month, while mine are maturing in 2-5 days in most cases. and i wear black without the blue dammit. and i'm thinking that my dandruff probably could go under the radar except i don't like the idea of the dead skin just sitting on my scalp so in the middle of class i'll scratch my head real fast. and the dandruff flies. and maybe i'd care, or even be embarrassed, except i don't know these people, so who cares what they think? so suddenly i'm wondering if i fill out a personal ad do i include the dandruff, or do i try and hide it and eventually cure it before my new friend ever realizes. its a toss up. because i mean what if i have some crazy strand of dandruff that is resistant to treatments. and when i go to the doctor and they ask - is dandruff a pre-existing medical condition? dandruff could be the unsung social-life killer.
anyway in my dandruff research i found this very interesting web-site listing celebrities with dandruff. and while it might be nice to be in the company of johnny depp, john lennon, elvis, and (ew) tyra banks (which i don't even believe because i bet she wears a wig, and hell if her wig has dandruff that's just foul), it is even NICER to be in the company of .::drum roll please::. MISS FRANCE 1999! woo hooo. so screw it, the verdict: sensitive scalp seeks stable single.