Monday, March 21, 2011

Change The Course Of History, Then Disappear

before we connected i was sealed shut, you tapped in and i opened up.  you became privy to my deepest fears and greatest aspirations.  you understood, and told me they were tokens, and now that i had the keys - highs would be certain.  unfortunately for me i was the worst when i finally got a chance with the best.  now when i have something, i feel like shutting back down.  when i had your perspective i wasn't ever in search of my own.  i remember thinking how your view was the best i'd ever seen - now i'm reminded of it every time i wake from my lowly dreams.  what i saw through your eyes made me forgive my past, set my sights on leaving, only for the better, to rehash my plans then work hard from there.

people might think my tapering sadness was much to laugh at, but! hear me out,
you had founded me, established me, so much so, i hadn't minded. i finally believed in something (which easily could've been me).  i wonder if you're still alive up to what looks of no good.  taking over the identities of individuals, dragging their dying dreams off the shore, handing them a high that never would've been looked for, then just walking out, knowing it will all follow.  you left me alone and befuddled, searching for months at what you brought up.  a source of life that's so hard to get in touch.

my mentor since asked me if i was certain of your intent.
the ground shook roughly beneath me and i couldn't breathe.  it had seemed the oxygen had left the air, possibly what the new life that would live within me probably needed.
i froze up, my insides churned, then i finally gasped. this meant so much more than what my mentor had asked.

you might have helped me more than anyone, but i still hate you for it.  i'd kill to go back to when what-could-be wasn't rapping at my feet.  trying so hard to get so much from me.  i thought i could ravage your head, take out all the mistakes i'd made, melt them down, remold, and replace.
then you wouldn't know why we weren't talking in the first place.

tons of people make up lies about life, but the ones  you create hold up.
and i'm not quite sure why i hurt, but since you i know why i don't.

70 comments:

  1. It has make me remember about Hiro of the TV serie Heroes... changing the course of history and disappearing

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  2. I liked it and a little lighter than previous work, well written Meghan.

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  3. Especially like the last sentence. Made me smile, once I'd parsed out the meaning.

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  4. I like your style of poetic prose.

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  5. "the ones you create hold up."
    sad but true.

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  6. nice one!

    http://le-nerd.blogspot.com/

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  7. pretty biting!

    "you might have helped me more than anyone, but i still hate you for it. "

    been there

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  8. another nice post,keep posting!

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  9. awesome post, keep the good work!

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  10. kinda hard to read, but this is deep

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  11. i enjoyed your story.

    i am starting my own cult.

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  12. Ugh, hits a little close to home for me.

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  13. Good reading, i give you advice, try to believe yourself then other people WILL change self for you. Thats all.

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  14. Very touching and powerful stuff.

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  15. wow... you touched me in my special place....

    I mean my heart dirty people!

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  16. touching in places...very cool

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  17. Very interesting. Melancholy.

    Followed and Supported.
    bigunicorn.blogspot.com

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  18. a very nice read, thanks for posting.

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  19. So very true, really nice read :)

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  20. I love how you worded this, very nice!

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  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  22. Why is your avatar a picture of a girly dude with short blonde hair?

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  23. hahahah great post like always
    you bro never failed to amaze me

    Check out mine and let me know what you think!
    I look forward to your contribution
    http://newhypertech.blogspot.com/

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  24. I loved the last line...as always a great read

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  25. TOns of what you wrote here struck a chord with me. With different elements of me and kind of all over the place so it was hard to find the central theme (for me personally I mean) but it was pretty personal all; sorry. And struck a chord personally. AND i I didn't cry which I which that makes me ok. Cool I liked especially the "tons of people make up lies about life, but the ones you create hold up". That just seems to say so much to people who libve and try amnd survive and t... and just have to deal with their own guilt, you know? I just thought that was cool and everyth9ing else. I want to check more of your stuff like tomorrow but that's enough for for now I'm glad to have read it thanks.

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  26. Nice, I like what you've written

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  27. Nice prose. The last line is really strong. Gives the whole thing a solid 'punch' at the end.

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  28. Very good prose. I enjoyed the read. Thank you for posting.

    Looking forward to more posts. Will follow! :)

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  29. I absolutely love how you can be touching without necessarily having to be sad. It shows a lot of depth and complexity as a writer. I really enjoy reading these windows into your spirit, Meghan. I'm sorry that I have been away for a bit, but I am catching up now...

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  30. Poignant stuff Meghan. Great work, as always.

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  31. I already commented on this post before, but in my excitement I figured I'd just post again. I made a new mix on my blog, and I thought you might like it. :)

    maxpowerthedj.blogspot.com

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  32. Just here to read this again, it's amazing!

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  33. Very deep without acting so depressing. The last two lines is a good way to top off a good write up.

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  34. good stuff. thanks for sharing.

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  35. amazing product and entry
    I really enjoy reading your blog
    Following
    hopefully you'll help me out with my blog

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  36. I like how you talk through your raw emotions and honesty. BTW...made you new blog of the day.

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  37. This is a very good Post.
    Thnx

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  38. Hey I'm here again too. (My drunk post here wasn't too bad, but sorry anyway, and I still agree and still want to read more - yesterday was a bit insane for me).

    But just wanted to say about the title of the piece: I'm working on it, yo!"

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  39. Well writen, well spoken!

    Keep it up

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  40. Hello
    amazing blog
    PLease take the time to check my blog out

    showing some love

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  41. nice blog!

    http://all-around-toto.blogspot.com/

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  42. Excellent post man! Was a really interesting read! thanks for sharing!

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  43. "dragging their dying dreams off the shore, handing them a high that never would've been looked for" amazing line!
    Good job Meghan, once more! Your poems have a nice way on the plain expression. That's what I like to read. Looking forward for the next!

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